In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We are all done wearing pants today
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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