He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
