More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
