hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
