U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
