We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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