You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
