You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize