He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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