you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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