she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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