just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
