I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
