Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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