WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Randomize
