There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
wow bdsm is so cute
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