READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
