I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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