Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize