im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
