fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
