i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
