Dual....:-)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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