yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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