So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize