I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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