You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
