ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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