Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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