Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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