is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
