They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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