i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
