So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Randomize
