how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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