no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
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This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
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You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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