We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
