All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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