When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
