I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
