Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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