woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My feet surprised me
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
