I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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