Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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