just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
