You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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