is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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