so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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