bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
