do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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