Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
