If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
