Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
smell my finger.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
