I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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