its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
