Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
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