Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize