I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
