i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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