Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize