She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
