But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize