Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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