While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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