you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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