dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
