He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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