he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
